Dance or Die!

Dance or Die! is the eighteenth chapter in the Wombles Six.

Back at Rider Ranch Face had finally arrived in his car. It was empty so he made it the A team HQ. He called the others and they soon arrived. Face and Hannibal had four girlfriends each around them. Murdock didn’t have any even with designer clothes and bandages on. BA didn’t care. He was watching grid iron football in his Denver Broncos kit. Amy was busy in the kitchen making A team stew to cheer up Murdock.

Suddenly Hannibal and Face’s girlfriends all got killed. A dark skinned woman appeared. Murdock began to run and stuck his tongue out at her. Hannibal began to cry, but suddenly fainted from a very high pitched noise in his head. The dark skinned woman had done it. Nobody noticed that Face had raced away in his car with super-fast anti-crash.

He very quickly arrived in England. He was suddenly pulled out of his car by a flying person and dropped from very high up down to Grand Steed Manor.

“Ow!” he said, slowly getting up.

Suddenly Cathy walked up to him.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Well what are you doing here?”

“Well I’m here because I live here,”

“I’m here because a weird man in green dropped me here.”

“What?”

“Don’t ask me!”

“Um, Ok? Well would you like to come to the celebration party of defeating Mr Teddy Bear? Steed said he couldn’t come because he still hadn’t recovered from playing Gin Rummy earlier.”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind. Anyway, would you like to come?”

“Oh… Alright then…”

Then Cathy noticed that he seemed a bit awkward and was trying not to look her in the face, no pun intended.

She looked a bit suspicious, then went back inside to get ready for the party.

A few hours later…

Cathy walked through the crowds of people dancing to the balcony where Face was standing, staring into space.

“Are you ok?” she asked.

Face sighed.

“Yes,” he said, “But I feel like everyone here has a partner except for me.”

“Technically I do, but I don’t here, because John still hasn’t recov…”

“Yes, you told me.”

Face turned round to look at Cathy and all the people dancing behind her, and sighed again.

Katy and Catwoman were looking for Taylor. Well, they were supposed to be. Catwoman was actually looking for Batman while claiming she was helping to find Taylor. So far, neither was having much luck.

Katy found The Joker under the ground.

Catwoman found Eartha Kitt & Lee Meriwether in Gotham State Penitentiary.

Katy found The Riddler in an aeroplane.

Catwoman found a purple-haired person in leather on a motorbike.

Katy found a blue-haired person in blue putting makeup on.

The Joker, The Riddler, Eartha & Lee acted as if Katy & Catwoman weren’t even there.

The purple-haired person & blue-haired person didn’t.

“Who are you?” asked the purple-haired person. “Did you just ask who I am?” asked Katy. “Yeah. Why?” asked the purple-haired person. “Because everyone knows who I am! I’m KATY PERRY!” yelled Katy. “Now who are you and why are you here?” “I don’t know why I’m here.” “Where were you before?” “Auradon.” “Where’s Auradon?”

Meanwhile, Catwoman was having a similar conversation with the blue-haired person. “Who are you?” said Catwoman & the blue-haired person at the same time. “I swear you just asked who I am.” Said Catwoman. “Well, I did. Is there any reason I shouldn’t?” replied the blue-haired person. “Of course there is! I’m The Catwoman!” answered Catwoman. “Who?” asked the blue-haired person. “I’m one of the archcriminals of Gotham City!” replied Catwoman. “Criminals? You’re evil?” “Well…yes.” Said Catwoman. “Why are you here, anyway?” “I don’t know.” “Where were you before?” “Auradon.” “Where?” “Anyway, I’m getting you to The Isle.” “What isle?” “The Isle Of The Lost.” “The what? And who are you?”

Back with Katy, the purple-haired person was confused. “You’ve never heard of Auradon?” “No, but you didn’t know who I was so we’re even.” “O…K…” “And who are you?” “My name is Mal.” “Mal? Do you mean Mel or is it just short for something else?” “Neither, but I am the daughter of Maleficent.” “Maleficent doesn’t exist!” “Yes she does.” “I’m leaving before you drive me insane.” “Maybe you already are insane!” Katy ran off.

Back with Catwoman…

“My name is Evie. I’m The Evil Queen’s daughter. And how can you not know what The Isle Of The Lost is? Nice mask, by the way. Wait, why are you wearing a mask?” “When people catch me being…evil, they just send me up the river. Not to some isle.” “Up the river? What’s the use in that? Do they try to drown you?” asked Evie. “No. It just means they send me to prison. Gotham State Penitentiary, to be precise.” “Oh. I suppose I should take you there then.” Said Evie, although she was quite confused. “Have you seen Batman anywhere?” asked Catwoman. “Batman?!?!?!”said Evie, even more confused. “Who’s Batman?” “Everyone knows who Batman is!” exclaimed Catwoman. “Well, who is he?” asked Evie. “He…oh, never mind!” They stared at each other confused for ages. Then Evie took Catwoman to Gotham State Penitentiary & went looking for Mal.

Mal, meanwhile, had caught up with Katy & had an argument which led her to find out that Katy was evil. Katy got sent to The Isle.

Uma, daughter of Ursula, was there. She ended up joining Katy’s team.

Back in London, The Penguin was figure skating with Poison Ivy. He had judges tied to chairs with his henchmen pointing umbrella guns at them. The Penguin finished his routine with a twirl. “Will the judges please give their scores!” shouted Ivy. Len Goodman shouted “SEVEN!”. Octopus shot him dead. Craig shouted “FAB U LOUS TEN!”. The Penguin threw him a fish. Craig caught it in his mouth and ate it. All the other judges were dead. Only Craig realised you had to give The Penguin a ten.

Ivy shouted “Will Batman and er, who are you?”  The lady with Batman replied rather grandly. “I am Mrs Harriet Cooper!”  “Dance or die!” shouted The Penguin. Suddenly three motorbikes roared up to the Penguin. “Nobody dies today!” shouted a heroic figure in leather. That hero was … Bungo!

Bungo, Shansi and PMW leapt into action fighting the Penguin’s henchmen. Batman and Harriet Cooper joined in. So did Craig Revel-Horwood. They were winning but suddenly the Penguin fired his knock-out gas at Harriet then flew off with her using his giant umbrella propeller.

Several hours later Batman, Craig, Shansi, Bungo and PMW woke up to see a very frozen London. Steed, Cathy, Charlie and Gambit were there. So was One Ten and One Twelve. “Great Scott! Aunt, I mean, Harriet Cooper! That fowl fiend! He has her prisoner!”

At Penguin’s crooked London lair, that fowl fiend did indeed have Aunt Harriet. She was dangling over a large vat of nitrogen. “Welcome to my lair dear Mrs Cooper!” said Penguin. “I don’t feel welcome” replied Harriet. “Well be assured that you are! You are also slowly sinking from my giant ice balance into a dead nitrogen bath.”   The Penguin looked pleased. Mr Freeze was too. “Wild! Once your temperature reaches minus 40 degrees you will love me!” he said very smugly.

“She will also be dead!” put in Ivy. “Heavens to betsy! I don’t love Mr Freeze and don’t want to die!” replied Harriet. Suddenly she lurched downwards as more ice melted on the other side of the balance.

Cathy and Charlie were trying to move, but they couldn’t because they were frozen. Steed and Gambit were stupid and thought it was just a fun game.