Cats and Tigers

Cats and Tigers is the fourteenth chapter in the Wombles Six.

The wombles were bored. Commander Bulgaria had become Great Uncle Bulgaria again. They were cleaning up rubbish again. They were getting out of Madame Cholet’s kitchen again. Wellington was shy again. Orinoco was really fat again. “Shansi! Have you finished in the workshop?” asked Great Uncle Bulgaria through the burrow phone. “Yes but I’m bored! Bungo is the leader of the Avengers, Tobermory is dead but had lots of adventures!” she replied. “Yes, yes but you are safe” soothed Great Uncle Bulgaria. “I DON’T WANT TO BE SAFE! I WANT TO BE A DARING, DANGEROUS WOMAN OF A WOMBLE!” shouted back Shansi suddenly realising that Great Uncle Bulgaria was sitting next to her.

She stormed into the storeroom where she found Patrick MacNee. “Hello! Want some fun?” he asked. “Do I EVER!” replied Shansi. Patrick gave her some motorbike leathers with a jacket that had a big picture of a skull on it. She put them on with some big biking boots and a blood red helmet. She went to look in the mirror and liked what she saw. “I AM A DANGER -ROUS WOMAAN!” she shouted. “Yeah baby!” shouted Patrick who appeared behind her in pale leathers, boots and helmet with horses on them. “Come on babe!” he shouted walking towards two big vintage Norton superbikes. “What! You found these? In Hyde Park? Dumped?” said Shansi in surprise. “Better believe it! Let’s ride!” he replied.

They did. Out of the burrow to Avengers HQ at New Steed Manor. Bungo met them at the door. “Ready to join the Avengers?” he asked. “AM I EVER!” replied Shansi. “Bring it on!” said Patrick. Back at the burrow Great Uncle Bulgaria got annoyed and turned military again. Brigadier Bulgaria called his troops and they started marching towards New Steed Manor.

The A Team had been sent to catch Katy Perry. Batman followed them in his Batcopter because he wanted Catwoman. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to arrest her or marry her but Robin called him on the Batphone. “Batman!” he said. “Robin here, I’ve located Catwoman at the Cat Lair. She has Princess Charlie as a prisoner and a new villain is with her, wearing a fancy dress outfit. For some reason Catwoman seems have some jelly stuck on her catsuit. Oh and by the way a snoopy man is following them with some freaky gummy bears.”

“Roger that Robin on my way!” replied Batman. Robin wondered who Roger was but not for long because he was following Catwoman, Katy and the Snoopy man into the Cat Lair. He followed a sign that said Catwoman’s in here. Suddenly he fell into a tiger pit. “Catwoman!” he shouted. “Yes Robin? How will you get out? I wonder? Wonder! Ha ha ha!” she replied cruelly. A voice sounded behind Robin. “You know that tigers just like a bit of consideration for their sensitive souls” said the voice. A man with brown leather jacket and baseball cap was there. The jacket had a picture of a tiger’s head on it. He stroked the tiger and it went to sleep. “Thank you Tiger Boy!” said Robin.

“Why does everyone call me Tiger Boy!” shouted Murdock. “No problem, I brought spare trousers. Catwoman must have stolen yours.”  Murdock finished.

Batman came in a threw down the Bat Rope. Robin and Murdock climbed out of the tiger pit. The rest of the A Team joined them and faced up to Catwoman and her gang. The snoopy man came in  and sprayed all of them with a multi-coloured aerosol. It felt weird when the spray went on you. “What are doing to our bodies?” shouted Batman. “I am turning you into a gummy bear my man!” replied the snoopy man. “All of you!” he finished.

Face was trying to find his car now and had gone mad so was looking for it inside a shopping centre. He was currently checking if it was inside any of the clothes. He put a top on his head and started walking around not being able to see. Suddenly he crashed into someone so took it off his head and got out some loppers and cut his hair shorter.

“What are you doing?” asked the person he had bumped into in a rather confused voice. “Stepping in for Murdock.” Replied Face.

“Who is Murdock?!?!” exclaimed the person. “He’s hm” replied Face. “He’s mysterious?”  “No, he’s H. M.! Hm!” “H.M. for what?”  “For howling mad.”  “His name is Howling Mad?”  “Yes, and my name’s Face.”  “Why does everyone have a weird name here in England?”  “I’m not originally from England. I’m a member of the A-Team, from America.”  “Who are the A-Team? And how did I not know about them when I’m from America?”  “Well I don’t know! What’s your name by the way?”  “Miss Nicole Roberts, why?”  “Well I don’t like talking to pretty women without knowing their name.”  “Before you continue, I have a boyfriend.”  “Oh.”

Face seemed rather disappointed. “What’s his name then?” he asked. “David Morbi, now go away!” said Nicole, and went off to find David. But she couldn’t.

Katy was trying to talk to Catwoman. “Catwoman-“ “Why did that stupid Tiger-boy have to interfere like that!” “Catwoman-“ “Though I have to say, that bit about the trousers was hilarious.” “Catwoman-“ “I wonder who he even was.” “Catwoman-“ “I should find out & get my revenge.” “Catwoman-“ “It’ll be super fun.” “We’re not supposed to be in New York!!!” “Then why is my catlair here then?” asked Catwoman. “Well, your catlair is here because it’s a new one you built about 2 hours ago.” “Oh, alright.” Said Catwoman.

As a bit of explanation, everyone had been about to be turned into gummy bears had been lucky because the snoopy man had been captured by someone in purple.

Taylor had brought her cats Olivia & Meredith into NAMI. “What is this place?” asked Olivia. “How are you talking?!?! You’re a cat! You usually just meow & purr!” “Oh, sorry, something really weird happened to us & now we can speak human.” “Now, come & meet Steed & Cathy.” Said Taylor, and her cats followed her to where Steed & Cathy were explaining to each other the parts they didn’t know about the Katy madness.

EPKCT were arguing. It started like this. “Catwoman, you should really change your lifestyle.” Said Eleanor(Peacock). “Why?” asked Catwoman. “Well, for a start, there’s all that cat stuff, then there’s the crazy catsuit & the mask & the gloves & your belt is a bit too low.” “I don’t see how that’s bad, Meancock!” snapped Katy. “Apart from the Catwoman thing, I guess.” “Stop it, Miss Kathryn Hudson!” shouted Catwoman. “Could everyone calm down?” asked Mrs Peel. “No!” said Peacock. “Give me that machete anyway, it’s stupid! And so is that black curly hair!” “No it’s not.” Objected Tara. “I like it!” “Oh, shut up!” said everyone else. “What?” said Tara. Now all of EPKCT had fallen out.

Tara went to SCAR HQ & rescued Venus. Mrs Peel went & made a factory, using her machete to cut material from other things. Peacock went to find her old friends Natalia DeSouza/Scarlet, Nikolas Maksimov/Plum, Jack Hartman/Mustard, Tyler Marshall/Green & Alexis Villeneuve/White so she could have a new evil team. Although it was unlikely Tyler would join anything evil unless he thought it was good. Katy & Catwoman tried to make up by arguing a lot & eventually succeeded.