The Penguin

The Penguin is the seventeenth chapter in the Wombles Six. If you were looking for the character, see Oswald Cobblepot.

Murdock landed the helicopter in America. “I really wish I hadn’t flown here” he said whilst David, Nicole, and Puppy got out. Murdock immediately started flying back.

“Now tell me exactly why we’ve come here.” Said Nicole to David. Then Puppy… bit her?

Nicole woke up in a strange place. She heard a cackle. When she looked around she saw very mean looking versions of David and Puppy. Suddenly they turned into a green witch and a black green-eyed cat!

“What have you done with David!” insisted Nicole. The witch pulled a lever and David fell from the ceiling. But it wasn’t David, it was David. David Vincent.

“Not that David!” said Nicole. The witch flicked a switch and a video of David and Goliath played.

“Not that David!” Eventually Nicole gave up.

Taylor was singing a new song in the NAMI place. “I wanna be your endgame! I wanna be your first string! I wanna be your A-Team! I wanna be your endgame, endgame!” Then she started singing a different song. “I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time! Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time! I’ve got a list of names & yours is in red, underlined! I check it once then I check it twice!”

The strange woman took Jesy to a big room. Most of the floor was see-through blue glass, although there was one small corner of wood. Below the floor was a bottomless pit full of sea water. The floor itself cracked gradually under your feet. It was filled with a lethal substance absorbed through the skin.

Jesy was now too weak to move. If someone rescued her, she would then still need the antidote which only immediately blocked death. It would then take weeks to actually cure the effects, which included frequent fainting & hot temperature.

Taylor was still singing. “You make me so happy it turns back to sad! There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have! Guess I’ll just stumble on home to my cats…alone! Unless you wanna come along!” “Would you please stop singing random little pieces of songs!” shouted her cats. “OK?” said Taylor & stopped.

A snake appeared. Taylor & her cats killed it.

Wimbledon Common was quiet now that everybody had left. Steed and Cathy were back at Grand Steed Manor with Princess  Charlie and Prince Gambit. They were playing Gin Rummy. “Are you sure this is how you play?” asked Charlie. “Of course!” replied Steed pouring them all another glass of rum and gin each. “I thought it was card game” said Cathy. “If it was a card game it would be called something like Joker Hearty!” piped up Gambit. Suddenly the emergency alarm rang for them to rescue country again. “Oh no!” they said together realising that nobody can drive after playing Gin Rummy for 6 hours.

Steed called New Steed Manor. “Hello Avengers HQ” replied Bungo. “Steed here got an emergency and we can’t go because of playing Gin Rummy” said Steed. “No problem” replied Bungo. He gave the order to the Avengers. “I’m a daaaaangerous woman!” shouted Shansi as she leapt on her bike. Bungo, PMW and Shansi roared out into the night. Then they went back to ask Steed where the emergency was. It too late because the Royal Family were asleep after too much Gin and Rummy.

They roared out again with Mother, One Ten and One Twelve following in Steed’s green Jaguar. It didn’t take long to find the enemy. A long nosed man in a black and white suit and shoes with his feet pointing outwards stood there smoking. He used a cigarette holder and was pointing an umbrella at the Avengers. Behind him stood a man in what looked like an astronauts suit. He was pointing a big gun with a blue glow at the Avengers. Next to him was a woman with red hair in a green dress and heels. She had green eyes and brandished a perfume atomiser with green perfume in it. Behind them were two men in black wearing bowler hats. One wore a top with Shark written on it and the other Octopus.

“We already own Gotham, now we’re taking London!” said the long nosed man. “Who are you?” asked Bungo. “The Penguin!” said Batman suddenly appearing. “You’re going UP THE RIVER!” said Robin appearing next to Batman. “That’s my line!” said an indignant Batman. “Not forgetting Batgirl!” said Batgirl appearing from nowhere. “Batgirl?” said Shansi. “Batgirl?” said Bungo. “Batgirl?” said PMW. “Batgirl?” said Mother. “Batgirl” said One Ten. “Batgirl?” said One Twelve. “Bats! I’m surrounded by bats!” said the Penguin. “Excuse me I haven’t said Batgirl!” said Robin then blushed. “Finished?” asked Penguin. “I’m good” replied Robin. They started fighting.

POW, BLAM, KERUNCH, SMACK, WHAP, KERCHING!

They paused. “Sorry!” said Robin “I’m still shopping for Batgirl’s birthday presents!”. They carried on fighting.