Fight in the Wombat Cave

Fight in the Wombat Cave is the third chapter in the Wombles Four.

“Where am I?” asked Steed. “Hospital” said a nurse. “Who are you?” he asked. “Nurse Roberts Mr Steed” she replied. “Lord! Lord Sir John Steed!” he replied. “John!” shouted Cathy. She thumped the nurse. “Who are you?” asked Steed. “Cathy, you do recognise me?” asked Cathy. “I think so but you are very pretty! Of course I like you if you’re so pretty!”. Cathy was pleased that Steed still thought she was pretty but had to get him out urgently. Quickly she put into a wheelchair and changed into the nurse’s uniform. Actually Nurse Roberts was an evil looking bald man who it turns out was wearing Avengers pants with a big picture of Mrs Peel. She gave him an extra kick for that.

Cathy hurried out of the hospital with Steed in the wheelchair. An ambulance screeched up outside. Bungo saluted from the driver’s seat. Quickly Cathy got in the back with Steed still in the chair. Suddenly Steed recognised her. “Cathy? Where are we?”  “The police took over London. We were arrested again. You were stupid again. The court exploded. I used AEIOU to get us out. The police died. I got clobbered and pretended to be unconscious. The weird bald man drugged you and dressed as a nurse. He was about to put a weird device on your head. I clobbered him. Contacted Bungo and here we are!”

It was a lot for Steed to comprehend. The ambulance stopped. Bungo opened the back. A hippy looking man was facing them with a machine gun. Cathy threw the wheelchair at him and knocked him out. They were home!

The hippy man woke up in the shed tied to the workbench with the vice around his head. Cathy turned the handle until he screamed in pain. “Who are you!” she shouted savagely. “I will tell you nothing!” spat the hippy. Steed tightened the vice further making his head look the shape of the peanut. “Who are you!” shouted Cathy again as she spat in his now purple face. “Alright! I am Dr Jon Von Pincher!” he just about managed to say. “Why did you kidnap us?” asked Steed with hand ready to tighten the vice a bit more. “Chief Scientist in SCAR!” he spat. Cathy started tighten the vice further. “Who are SCAR?”  “Society for Chaos Anarchy and Ransack!”.

The bald man woke up and ran and ran and ran and ran until he came across the butter machine. He saw Mrs Peel in it and let her out. “Woof” she said. “No!” said the bald man. “It’s SCAR not WOOF! WOOF were the ones who threatened people with venussian octopi! SCAR are the ones that kill people over and over for no reason!” “Woof” replied Mrs Peel, and got down on all fours. The bald man finally understood and blew a whistle. She wasn’t Pickles anymore. “What happened Doctor Diabolical Diablo?” she asked. “Bungo found the whistle that you took from your sister with the same name as you and turned you into Gherkins.”  “Pickles” corrected Mrs Peel. “Anyway, have you brought anyone else back to life yet?”  “No but I’ve got a list here of ones that we will. Probably you’ll be glad to hear that we’re bringing Peter back to life.”  “Uh well if you do I can’t marry Steed.”  “Sorry Mrs Peel I didn’t realise you wanted to. We’ll take him off the list them.”  He started to walk off then Mrs Peel said, “When you come back, bring Dr Jon Von Pincher back with you.”  “Yes boss.” Replied Dr Diablo, saluted, and walked off, whilst Mrs Peel sharpened the machete.

Cathy decided to put a vice on Dr Pinchers feet as well as his head. Just in case he escaped. Steed tightened the second vice until his feet were both shaped like peanuts. Bungo wasn’t sure even then. He put on a third vice around Dr Pinchers waist. Now his body was peanut shaped as well has his head and both his feet. He was also bright purple and unconscious.

Steed, Cathy and Bungo headed back into Steed Manor where Rover and Freckles were waiting. There was bark. “Freckles?” asked Steed. “Why are barking so strangely?”  “I’m not!” replied a familiar voice. It was Mrs Peel! She was pretending to be Pickles. “Pickles?” said Bungo confused. “No! Mrs Peel! Soon to be Mrs Steed!” she shouted. Before anyone could stop her Steed had been knocked with his own hat. She dragged Steed into her Lotus and screeched away, stealing it back.

Cathy was furious. She took up the chase in her own Lotus. Bungo drove the Lotus that used to be Tara’s. Rover just bounced along. Mrs Peel looked the in the mirror to see Cathy, Bungo, Rover and the Classy Glass Window Cleaning Company in pursuit. She started swerving from side to side of the road so that they would drop back in case there was an accident. She laughed evily and zoomed ahead, whilst Cathy, Bungo, and Rover started chasing again after recovering from avoiding the swerving.

All of a sudden Steed woke up. “Why am I in your car?” he asked Mrs Peel. Mrs Peel just kept driving and didn’t answer. She put the pedal to the metal. It made no difference to Cathy who was a former Danger Maker. Bungo just loved speed so he had no problem racing them all. The Classy Glass drivers were fine because they had super engines fitted in all their vans. Mrs Peel looked in the mirror again. The Classy Glass vans had disappeared from sight. “Now for the soon to be former Mrs Steed and the womble!” Mrs Peel said to herself ignoring Steed.

She drove even faster. The next bend loomed into view. A car pulled out in front of her. It was black with fins. A net suddenly fired out of the black car. The net landed over Mrs Peel’s Lotus and off went the black car, dragging Mrs Peel with it. The others all followed round bends, through chicanes, twists, around roundabouts, over bridges, through tunnels, into London, through a hedge and into a cave.

The Wombatmobile stopped with screech. The net was quickly hooked up and lifted to the roof of the cave. The chasing vehicles couldn’t stop and had to race round and round the Wombat Cave until they could stop. Cathy and Bungo got out. Wombat and Womble wonder stood back to back ready to fight. “Hey!” shouted Mrs Peel “You are stealing our moves! Only Steed and Mrs Peel can do that!” Wombat and Womble Wonder ignored her and started fighting Cathy and Bungo. WHAM! Wombat hit Bungo. ZLAP! Bungo hit back. KAPOW! Cathy slammed Womble Wonder over her shoulder. POW! Bungo sent Wombat spinning. BAM! Womble Wonder powered into Cathy.

Cathy and Bungo backed off. They were smiling. “We have you beaten now! Time to put on the Wombat Cuffs!” said Wombat, also smiling. He wasn’t smiling for long. The Classy Glass Window Company appeared from thin air. There was 20 extra men. BOOM! The door exploded after that. In drove the Milkman brandishing exploding milk.

“Don’t explode that yet! Remember we’re in here too!” called Steed from the roof. “Don’t worry I’ll wait” said the milkman, as Steed slowly opened the door of the car. It started to rip the net. He closed it again as the car tilted to its side. “How are we going to get out?” asked Mrs Peel. “We’re not, I am.” Replied Steed, and tried again. The rope holding the net snapped, and Steed and Mrs Peel fell out of the car. Steed quickly opened his umbrella and floated down. Mrs Peel fell but wasn’t harmed. “Throw the milk at the same time as me, Bungo, and Cathy run out!” said Steed. The milkman obeyed, and as soon as they got out, the cave exploded. But little did they know, Wombat and Womble Wonder had reversed the poles and slid back up to Womble Manor just before. And obviously Mrs Peel survived, because she was immortal.