In The Endgame

In The Endgame is the fifty fourth and final chapter in the Wombles Eight.

45 days later

The Justice League of England were assembled in the living room of Grand Steed Manor. Cathy was trying to create a plan to defeat Darkseid but every time she thought she had cracked it then somebody else in the team pointed out a problem.

“So what if we try to approach him directly?” suggested Cathy. “No subtlety. Take him by surprise. Everybody attack at once.”

“I get that we’re all powerful an’ all but that’s not gonna work.” Said Constantine. “Lord Darkseid is more powerful than all of us combined even on ‘is own, and ‘e’s got Pennywise an’ a bunch of other freaks on ‘is side to top that.”

“Did you just call my daughter a freak?” asked Steed.

“Yep.” Replied Constantine and he started smoking.

Bungo was very worried. Being the adventurous womble that he was, he was used to danger, but this was like nothing he had ever faced before. And judging by the attitude across the room it was like nothing anybody else had ever faced before either. He really didn’t know what to do.

“Maybe we can’t win.” He said slowly and sadly. It was a comment so uncharacteristic of him that everybody turned and stared.

“We can.” Said Cathy, “We just don’t know how yet.”

“No, young Bungo is right, it’s very possible that this Darkseid is too much for us.” Said Tobermory.

“Batman was saying this same thing when I was captured by Katy Perry. I told him he was wrong, but I realise now it was probably me who was wrong.” Rasped Bond through his skull. He had joined the team after being rescued from Katy’s mansion, along with Katy and Tara.

“I don’t like to be a pessimist, but I actually think they’re right.” Said Katy. “Darkseid is too much for us.”

“No he’s not!” said Cathy through gritted teeth. Steed looked around at the rest of his teammates and then stood up and walked to stand by Cathy’s side.

“Now,” said Steed. “I understand that all of you are worried. And I can’t deny that defeating such a behemoth of a being does seem quite unlikely. But that doesn’t mean we should give up! We have to try! It’d be better to die fighting than to die sitting sulking in a Manor house! Cathy chose you all for this mission, and it’d be a great insult to her to just give up at the first sight of trouble! Who’s with me?”

Steed had been hoping for a big cheer after his short speech but all he got was 21 or more faces sulking up at him, this time including Cathy’s. She actually seemed slightly more upset than everybody else.

“Cathy, really.” Said Steed, “We can’t give up.”

“But we’re going to.” Said Cathy, “Because even if we continued trying now, reality would eventually dawn on us and we’d give up anyway. I like your enthusiasm, John, and I wish I had it, but in truth your words are empty. Even to defeat Cadmus we needed every single member of MI12, as well as a ton of stowaways on our ship. And they were just normal humans. Taking on Darkseid’s team would be like ants trying to fight Superman. Constantine, Bungo and Tobermory are right.”

Steed didn’t know what to say. He had never seen Cathy with her spirits down like this since Paul had died and left her as a widow. In those days, though, the pair of them had only just met. Now he was her husband and he felt that he should comfort her but he didn’t know how. It was a challenge for Steed. What did Cathy need? Things were rhyming now. Then suddenly, POW! There was dust in the room so they needed a broom. The dust cleared. One Ten had appeared.

“Hello.” Said One Ten, while twirling his pen. His pen was his wand. “It’s you!” shouted Bond. Hermione stood up. “But you were locked up!”  “And she took your wand!” said Harry. He wasn’t called Larry.

“I know that, you fools! I have a new tool!”  One Ten slyly grinned. His wand had been binned. But he had another. “Where did you get it?” questioned Mother.

“I found it in the road, right next to a toad. I picked it up and- put it in my hand. I pocketed it, then down did I sit. It was while I was out on my prisoner walk. You know, the Azkaban trail which is marked with chalk. So I used this wand to set myself free. I knew that you would ask, ‘But how can it be?’!”

“We asked why you rhymed and you said you were a poet! Turns out you’re a demon, so why didn’t we know it?” said Mother to One Ten, who was still twirling his wand-pen. “You knew nothing of magic you brandy-addicted fool! How could you have known that my pen was my tool?”

“He’s right Moustachio you couldn’t have known. At least not until his true form was shown.” Said Dominic Toretto. He was the man who’s wife wasn’t called Letto. “But now it has been and we know that you, Olivier, are working for Darkseid! So tell us how to defeat him or you will have soon died!”

“That’s nonsense!” said One Ten. “I still have my pen! I will take off the glamour just so I can show you. It’s really a wand, not a prop like a big shoe!”

Then pen transformed and Hermione gasped. “What is so shocking?” the Ghost Rider rasped.

“That’s Ron’s wand!” said Hermione, surprised. “Ron summoned it to Azkaban!” Harry demised. Well not demised really, it just needed to rhyme. What I mean to say really is that he got it right.

“That’s right, then I stole it!” said One Ten boastfully. He felt rather pleased with himself actually.

Harry and Hermione both pulled out their wands. They lined up in front of One Ten and so did Bond. “No need for that love.” Said Constantine smugly. “I can do wandless magic, though this could get quite ugly.”

“All together then.” Said Harry, and he steadied his hand. Hermione did the same and the three formed a band. The band was round One Ten and then Bond filled a gap. There were still two gaps left though, two open flaps. Cathy filled one of them and Bungo another. Then an exterior band was formed, starting with Mother. Eventually the whole team had blocked in One Ten. He tried to apparate but he couldn’t because then… Constantine used a charm to prevent apparating within the Manor. Outside the window Meowykins said, “Oh hey Hannah!”

Harry and Hermione both shouted a spell. Constantine added a ritual as well. Dom started punching One Ten on the head. Cathy ran round One Ten, in the shape of a Z. Steed and Mother both poured brandy on him. Tobermory joined in punching just as Meowykins came in. Meowykins scratched him and Bungo kicked. Shansi and PMW made sure that that sticked. Katy and Tara sent up a lot of glitter. Charlie kicked One Ten because she was feeling bitter. Gambit copied her and there was a lot of commotion. It looked like everyone was brewing a potion.

Eventually the glitter, dust and magic lights cleared. What sight would be seen now Bungo somewhat feared. It was interesting to see what the mix of stuff had done. Harry had disarmed him and Hermione had stunned. Constantine had sent the top half of him to hell. Now he was just a pair of legs. Everything suddenly stopped rhyming.

“Well,” said Cathy, “That’s him sorted. He was a really powerful wizard demon and we defeated him in a matter of seconds. Still think we can’t defeat Darkseid?”

“You hypocrite.” Said Constantine. Cathy ignored him.

“We’ll probably need some more people, but we can definitely do it.” She enthused. “Dom, call in your team.”  “I can’t, they’re busy.”  “They can’t be busy, Darkseid won’t let anybody do anything. How long has it been since you last spoke to them?”  Dom paused. “Forty-five days.” He said, “And that was only Letty. The rest of the team have been out of contact with me for even longer than that.”

Suddenly there was a very loud explosion behind the Manor. Meowykins hid behind Cathy for protection. Dom went to look out the window.

“What’s happening?” asked Cathy. “War.” Replied Dom.

‘War’ pretty much summed it up. The first thing Dom saw was multiple explosions across the landscape destroyed by Darkseid. Then a monster-sized black car with Batman and Catwoman inside it raced out of one of the explosions, closely followed by Dom’s own black car with the visible engine being driven by Fauna. Fauna was apparently chasing Batman and Catwoman, and then the explosion cleared to reveal the purple monster, Thanos, wearing a gauntlet with the Philosopher’s Stone in it, Draco at his side, facing off against Darkseid. And it looked like Thanos was winning.

“We gotta go help.” Said Dom, and he led the rest of the JLE out of the building and each of them into a car. Cathy and Dom got in the car which Dom had driven to the manor in. Tobermory and Shansi got in the Wombatmobile. Bungo and PMW got in the new Silver Womble. Harry and Hermione got in Arthur Weasley’s flying car. Katy and Tara got in Katy’s car. Constantine just apparated. Jane and Lisbon got in the CBI car. Barry just ran. Mother, Hobbs, Han and Meowykins were left behind because there were no cars left. Mother’s Bentley was now a red hotrod owned by Harley Quinn.

All the cars raced away trying to reach Thanos, Draco and Darkseid in time. Dom and Cathy were in the lead with the others following behind, attempting to keep up to his speed.

Dom spoke through his communicator.

“You guys gotta hurry up.”

“We’re trying our best!” said Hermione’s voice through the communicator. Then she turned to Harry, who was driving very badly, and asked, “Why didn’t we just apparate like Constantine?”

“Good idea.” Said Harry and then they held on to each other’s hands and apparated away to where the fight was taking place.

“You guys need some help?” came another voice through the communicator. Cathy recognised the voice but she couldn’t quite place where she had heard it before. “Who was that?” asked Cathy. “It’s Roman, baby!” replied the voice.

More cars joined the chase. One was driven by Roman, one by Tej, one by Letty, one by Shaw, one by O’Connor, and two by people who Cathy hadn’t seen before.

“Nice to meet you Queenie I’m Mia. I’m Dom’s sister and O’Connor’s partner.” Said one of them through the communicator. “Nice to meet you Mia but actually my name is Cathy.” Replied Cathy.

“Nice to meet you Cathy I’m Ramsey.” Said the other one.

The cars all pulled up behind Thanos. Thanos was grinning and Darkseid was glaring.

“You traitor!” snapped Darkseid madly. Thanos just laughed and continued to fight him. “You will never get the time stone!” Darkseid yelled.

Cathy looked to behind Darkseid. Carol’s red stone was there, glowing more brightly than ever. Cathy pointed it out to Dom and Dom told everyone else through his communicator.

“I think we need to help Thanos.” Said Cathy, “Get him the time stone and let him use it to kill Darkseid. Everybody charge together.”

Dom spoke through his communicator again. “All right guys Queenie says we gotta charge to get the stone. Give it to the purple monster. The purple monster will kill Lord Darkseid. Understood?”

“Understood.” Everybody else said in unison. The cars all picked up speed and began to charge.

Cathy and Dom, being in front, were the first to reach the stone. “Grab it, Queenie!” said Dom. Cathy got out of the car, grabbed the stone, and put it in Thanos’ gauntlet in a flash. Thanos stared down at her, looking very surprised.

“Thank you…” he said, “That stone is exactly what I needed.”

Thanos turned to Darkseid and snapped his fingers. Darkseid began to age rapidly. “Noooooooo!!!!!!!!” he screamed as he shrivelled like a grape. Thanos grinned as he watched.

After Darkseid became nothing but a raisin, Thanos turned to look at Cathy again, still grinning. He began to laugh. “You should have gone for my head!”

“What?” Cathy was now confused. Draco was laughing too. “You might have defeated Darkseid, but you just created an even more powerful enemy! Me and Thanos like to call ourselves the Anti-Womble club. The womble existence jewel is about to be gone!”

“What?!?!” shrieked Cathy. She now thought how stupid she must have been to ever give something like the time stone to anybody with questionable loyalty, let alone an enormous purple one with the philosopher’s stone. Perhaps it was due to being married to Steed.

Thanos teleported himself elsewhere just as the Joker appeared.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you!” said Harry, “What I was told about It- he takes the form of your fear when he sees you? He’s no demon, he’s a boggart!”

“A what?” asked Constantine, feeling like there was a large role reversal happening.

“A boggart!” repeated Harry.

The Joker began to laugh. “Ah…” he said, “Laugh with me! Laugh, I say! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!”

“Don’t you understand!” said Harry. “He’s daring us to defeat him! All you need to do to defeat a boggart is laugh!”

Roman laughed at Harry saying this, thinking he was joking. The Joker whined and disappeared.

“That’s all very nice,” said Cathy, “But what about the wombles?”

Thanos walked through the Ministry of Technology, destroying the machines and guards in his path. He approached the Womble Existence Jewel and reached out for it. It began to slowly slide out of the wall…

THANOS WILL RETURN