The Big Red Bus

The Big Red Bus is the thirty fourth chapter in the Wombles Eight.

Mother poured himself a triple brandy and called Cathy. “Queenie’s phone” said a deep voice. “You! Where is my car? I want it back!” Mother shouted. “You lost the race Moustachio. I’ll hand you over to Queenie.” Dom replied calmly. “Hello?” said Cathy. “It’s Mother” came the reply.

“What do you want? I am a bit busy!” Cathy said. “Your dagger please” Mother replied. “My dagger? What? You can buy one of your own can’t you? Stop wasting my time!” Cathy replied ringing off. “Blast bit!” cursed Mother.

Mother’s phone now rang. “Hello, Sir Mother speaking” he said haughtily whilst swigging his brandy. “Got a mission for you. Go straight to the common!” said Bungo. “Darn and blast fit!” shouted Mother. He hated taking orders from wombles but there was no choice. So he went out to catch the bus.

The bus looked familiar. It was his own bus that went missing so long ago. Back when life was normal. “This is my bus! Get out” he shouted at the passengers. They did as Mother said because Mother was waving his pistol at them. The driver tried to leave with them.

“Not you! What’s your name miss?” he said and stopped the lady from getting up. “Rhona” she said. “Rhona eh, well you work for me now! Take me to Wimbledon Common.” Mother instructed. The bus started on its way. Mother sat upstairs. Down in the cab the driver was on the radio phone to somebody.”  “It’s Rhona, I’m in.”  “Good work Rhona!” said the person the driver had called. “Keep me informed.”

Alderney was leading Idaho, Yellowstone, Tobermory, Wellington, Bungo, Shansi and PMW across the common. The Bungomobile, Wombatmobile, Shansibike and PMW Turbo were left with Tomsk to guard. The small party reached Womble Manor (formerly the burrow and Avengers HQ). Bungo opened up the secret hatch that led down to the Womble Existence Jewel. WEJ was there as it should be quietly glowing in its panel. The whole setup was much more sophisticated than the old days.

Wellington and Tobermory had modernised things and WEJ was set deep inside a computerised security system with a thick electronic safe. Bungo set the security barriers for one minute and left slamming the doors shut as he went. He emerged to report back to the others. “Everything is fine” Bungo said. Then his phone rang. “Sir Mother, OK I’ll tell the boss” answered Bungo. “Sir Mother is on the way” he said to Alderney.

The big red bus arrived and Rhona parked behind the bikes and Wombatmobile. Mother being quite arrogant didn’t mind blocking them in. Mother and Rhona joined the wombles just outside the MoT when Wellington was opening up. A strange smell like an odd perfume permeated the air. Shansi looked down at her feet to see a green grenade emitting the scent.

The wombles and Mother fainted on the common with the MoT wide open. Rhona removed her black curly wig to reveal a blonde bob. Next she removed a latex face mask. It was Rhonda!