The Final Exciting Instalment!

The Final Exciting Instalment! is the seventeenth and final chapter in the Wombles One.

“Please bear in mind,” said Mother suddenly. “That I never resigned. Or got kicked out by Grandma. So I am still the boss of the avengers.”  Dr Keel looked blank. “So you are!” he said. “Do you want me to let you and Cathy go?”  “Yes.”  “Ok.” And he obeyed Mother’s orders!

As Cathy and Mother were leaving, Cathy said to Mother, “Please explain why you had Steed’s hat in your cupboard.”  Mother looked blank. “Did I? He must of sneakily put it in there!” “I thought you said that no one could do anything without you seeing.”  “Well he must have!”  “I don’t believe you.”  And at that, Cathy took Mother off to the window cleaning HQ at gunpoint!

When they got there, Cathy threw all the window cleaners to Yellowstone park and down a hole, then turned the window cleaning HQ into the new, improved Cafeeee!

Steed and Miss Peel found a mirror. “Funny” said Miss Peel “this mirror has no glass in it.”  “Really” said Steed “I’ll try it.”  He did. “Nothing funny here” he told Miss Peel. “Look my reflection.”  Steed tried tipping his hat, dancing, making funny faces, normal faces and even looking super cool in his suit and hat. Everything he did showed in the mirror.

Miss Peel was just going to try again herself when it started raining window cleaners and white bowler hats! Everybody crashed to the floor. Even the mirror crashed to the floor. “Steed why did that mirror not smash?” asked Miss Peel. Steed just cried. “Really Steed there is no need to cry about something that didn’t break” she scolded. “I didn’t cry” said Steed. “Well I just saw you do it!” “NO I DIDN’T!” “Steed! There is no need to shout!”  “I didn’t.”  “You did!” “Yay! I did!”

Miss Peel was confused. Steed held her hand and climbed out of hole at the same time. She asked “Steed, how are you climbing out of this hole and staying here?”  Steed was also confused. “I am definitely not climbing out of here but I am holding your hand.”

Steed called down from out of the hole “Are you coming Tara?”  Miss Peel was angry as well as confused now. “I am NOT Tara! Do you really think she could carry off this mini-dress as well as me?”  He replied “Oh Dr Tara Keel! Hold on I’ll carry the mini-dress then!”  He did carry it and ran off with it. Miss Peel was speechless.

“Oh!” exclaimed Steed. Miss Peel raged at him. “STEED! GIVE ME BACK MY DRESS AT ONCE!”  He replied calmly “I don’t have it. I wear suits.”  He was so calm that she knew it must be true. “If you are here then who was that?”  Steed didn’t know but there were so many unconscious window cleaners he found some more clothes for Miss Peel who complained “I don’t like the overalls much.” Steed turned them into a white dress and Emma was happy with them.

Just outside the other Steed had bumped into Tara. He asked “Tara! What are you doing here?”  “Funny you should ask” she replied “I went for coffee at the new cafeeee and Cathy Gale threw me into a pickup truck, I fell out of that onto a trampoline, bounced down a hole, floated through the sewer to the sea, got propelled by a unusually strong wind and swam to America, a hook picked me up and a helicopter dropped me here.”

Just then a womble appeared out of the ground. He looked desparate and ran to Tara screaming “Help! They’re after me!”

Cathy still had Mother at gunpoint. Mother was very upset. “I thought you loved me!” he said. “I did until I found out that you were a mole!” replied Cathy. “I’m not! Where are you taking me anyway?”  “You’ll see.” They stopped in front of Cathy’s conveyer belt with a circular saw. Cathy tied Mother onto it. “But…” began Mother. “No buts!” snapped Cathy. A book fell off of the bookshelf next to the conveyer belt. Cathy picked it up and read it. She closed it and looked at Mother, then untied the ropes and hugged Mother tightly. Then another book fell down. She read it. She closed it and looked at Mother then fired a gun at him. He dodged. Cathy kept firing and soon it looked like he was doing a dance. Suddenly the effect of the book stopped working but Cathy still pointed the gun at him as she still thought he was mole. “Please! I have an explanation!” screamed Mother. “What is it? It better be a good one!”  “I am a mole but not a mole to you! A mole to Steed! And Miss Peel! And Tara! And Venus! And Dr King! And Dr Keel!” “Oh.”  Cathy put the gun away and excepted that this was probably true. “I have to go now.” She said. “Someone I need to meet.”  “Ok.” Said Mother smiling. And Cathy hopped onto a bus, got out at the beach, rowed a boat to America, got out, hopped on a coach, got off at Yellowstone park, and leapt down a hole.

She landed in a room with a womble in a golden coat sitting on a chair. “Idaho?” she asked. The womble in the golden coat stood up. “Ah, Cathy.” They said. “Ready to be the only human to exist?” “Um… actually… no.”  “No?”  “Well I just wondered if I could possibly be one of two?”  “And who would the other be?”  “A man called Mother.”  “A man that’s called Mother? Shouldn’t they be Father?”  Cathy just shrugged.

Peter Peel woke up. He had been lying in the bush for a good while but wasn’t sure how long. The womblegarten headed out to the common to get some dinner as there was only Wellington and China around. Everybody else had mysteriously disappeared. Wellington was busy being Super Womble. He had fitted wheels and an engine to the shrinking machine that makes things bigger when fired upside down (AKA SMTMTBWFU pronounced smootmootbwufu). He was off on the first test drive and headed out on common as well.

China had only just realised that the house arrest was over and headed out for a walk. Peter was waiting with his dart gun by the door. He was just about to fire at the womblets and China when Wellngton roared out. He saw Peter and shouted “looks like a job for a plane?”  “No!” shouted the womblegarten. “A bird?”  “No!” shouted the womblets. “That’s the wrong way round!” said China. “SUPER WOMBLE!”  “YES!” shouted the other wombles.

Peter paused “Super Womble?” he said. “YES! SOOOPER WOOOMBLE!” shouted back Wellington, China and the womblets. Wellington fired the shrink ray at Peter. WOOOOOOO! Went the ray. Peter suddenly saw an army of enormous wombles! One of them picked him up and put him in a tidy bag. Wellington put the tidy bag in a small metal box, locked it then popped it into a big metal dustbin. He welded the dustbin permanently shut and rolled down the hill into Queen’s Mere. The dustbin sank into the sewer and fairly soon ended up falling down from the sky next to Tara at Yellowstone Park.

“Steed!” she panicked as she loved Steed and was so pleased to have at last won him from Emma.

“I take it you have enough wombles under your spell now then?” asked Cathy. “My dear friend, I have practically all the wombles under my power!” replied Idaho. “But not ALL the wombles. A mission this big would require ALL the wombles.” Snapped Cathy. “Please bear in mind,” said Idaho trying to hide a hurt feeling. “That wombles are much more decent and clever and sensible than you silly little humans. So actually I am sure that just one that has been bruised and battered would be enough to wipe out a human.” Cathy was really angry now. She got out her gun and pointed it at Idaho. He stood up in a surprised way and put up his hands. “I think,” said Cathy. “That only a few humans will be wiped out. But all the wombles will be gone instead!”

Bungo was running hard. Tara didn’t really listen to his cries for help after a familiar looking dustbin landed on the man next to her. He ran on. He ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran. He looked around and found himself in New York. There was a bus so he got on. It went to Yellowstone Park. He got out and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran. He looked around and found himself at San Francisco. There was a ship. He got on. Luckily it was headed to London!

Meanwhile Madame Cholet had taken his place at the village. She took a stew she had made to Number Two. There was somebody else in the chair. He was wearing a golden coat. “I am Number One!” he said. A telephone rang. He picked it up. “Hello?” He tried another. “Hello?”  Seven telephones later he heard Cathy shouting “I AM NUMBER ONE! YOU ARE THE NEW NUMBER TWO!”  He asked “Who is Number Six?”  Cathy shouted “BUNGO IS NUMBER SIX!”  He replied hesitantly “Actually he has gone but Madame Cholet is here!”  Cathy snapped “Well I suppose she’ll have to do!”

Madame Cholet took the phone and shouted at it, “What is your real name and what do you plan to do?” “My name is Cathy Gale and I plan to wipe out wombles!” replied Cathy. Madame Cholet looked worried. “I am a womble!” she said and a poisonous gas came out of the telephone causing her to sleep for the rest of her life unless she was saved by a true love’s kiss!

Not-So-Great Uncle Bulgaria was confused. “If I am number six then why do I know so much about being number two?” he asked himself. “Because,” said a voice next to him, “You are number two. Or at least you were.”  Not-So-Great Uncle Bulgaria looked round to see Cathy holding some kind of spray. “Why the past tense?” he asked rather worried. “Because,” explained Cathy, “Idaho is number two now, and I am number one!”  “Oh.” Said Not-So-Great Uncle Bulgaria, before Cathy sprayed the spray and he too was caused to sleep for the rest of his life unless he was saved by a true love’s kiss.

Miss Adelaide was being number 38. Later, there was a knock on her door. “Come in!” she said. Cathy stepped in. “Oh, it’s you.” Said Miss Adelaide. “How are you doing with Idaho?”  “Not very well.” “Oh dear. I’ll go and see him for a minute if that’s ok.”  Just as she was about to walk out the door, Cathy sprayed her spray. Now Miss Adelaide was sent to sleep forever unless she was saved by a true love’s kiss.

Bungo suddenly realised that it was a mistake to leave the village. “What about all those wombles that are innocent there?”  He jumped onto a ship that was passing going the other way, back to America, then when he got there, hopped on a coach, got out at Yellowstone park, leapt down a hole, and landed in what appeared to be a part of number two’s house that he hadn’t seen before. It was dark and creepy and had very big doors and a lot of stairs. He ran up the stairs to see what was there then he heard a voice calling, “Bungo! Bungo!”  It was a rather creepy voice, and it seemed to be coming from nowhere. He opened the doors to a bedroom, and there was no one in there! “Which way Bungo?” the voice said. “Down the stairs or into another bedroom? I could be right behind you. I could be 200 yards away. You just don’t know, Bungo.”

Bungo decided to check down the stairs. He looked in a mirror, and saw Idaho standing at the top of the stairs! “I… I… Idaho?” he asked. “You should’ve known. Didn’t you recognise that golden coat that was floating about?”  “You mean… you’re number one?”  “Well, I was when you kept asking who number one was. But earlier, I had a phonecall, and now I’m number two, and Cathy Gale is number one!”  Just then, Cathy came in. “Bungo! Idaho!” she said. “Hullo!” said Bungo. “Who are you?”  “I am number one!” replied Cathy. “Who is number six?” asked Bungo. “Madame Cholet is number six!”  “I thought I was?”  “You are number seven!”  “Oh, we’ve swapped!”  “Yes! You have!”  Immediately after that conversation Cathy and Bungo started fighting, whilst Idaho stood there, very surprised that he was seeing a human in a fight. Eventually he decided to join in, as he still wanted to wipe out the humans, and didn’t want the wombles to be wiped out.

Later, it looked like there was no escape for Bungo and Idaho, when a window cleaner came in, and hypnotised Cathy! When Cathy recovered from the hypnotism, she had quite forgotten that she wanted to wipe out wombles and hated everyone who wore a bowler hat, and was finally back to her usual good self.

Idaho looked shocked at the window cleaner. “You… a human… saved me?” he stammered. “Yes.” Replied the window cleaner. Idaho then decided then and there to drop the whole plot of human extermination, and then he became his usual good self again, like Cathy had done. “I’ll show you the way out.” Said Cathy. “So will I!” said Idaho, and soon enough everyone was out of the village. Tara was still there, and wasn’t expecting lots of people to come out of a hole and crowd round her. She looked puzzled when Steed and Miss Peel came out. “Steed? How are you there and under a dustbin next to me at the same time?”  Steed picked up the dustbin to reveal the knocked out version of him. It appeared to be crackling with electricity! “It’s a robot.” Said Steed. “I did say that people like to duplicate me.”  Tara was upset. “You mean I didn’t win you from Emma?” she asked. “Uh, no.” replied Steed. “Find Dr Keel instead.”  “Oh, alright. But you do realise that we’re still in America, don’t you? We need to go back and arrest Cathy and Mother!”  “Actually,” said Cathy, coming up to her. “I’m on your side. And I’m pretty sure Mother wouldn’t hesitate to be on your side too if it was me who told him to.”  Tara wasn’t sure but accepted it anyway.

Just as they all hopped on a bus to go back to London a clanging sound started. They didn’t hear because the bus was quite noisy. The clanging was coming from the dustbin which was now in the shape of a man with a bowler hat. It looked like a sort a cyber dustbin. The dustbin tried to chase the bus but fell into the village.

When they got back, all the wombles and avengers went in the burrow then Steed looked very serious at Tobermory, who had finally decided to take his Wombat costume off and look normal. “Why are you wearing my missing hat?” he snapped at him. Tobermory looked blank. “I’m not!” he said. “Yes you are!”  And Steed chased Tobermory out of the burrow trying to get his hat back. He chased him so much that Tobermory went back to the village! “Oh dear,” said Miss Peel when Steed came back alone. “It appears that we’ll have to have a replacement number two again. But this time we’ll vote.”  Tara came in and said, “I vote Dr Keel. If I can’t have Steed, I’ll have him instead.” “Well he’s rather unhealthy.” Replied Miss Peel. Tara just shrugged and said, “Compare him to Mother and he’s the most healthy person in the world.”  Then Cathy came in and said, “Not anymore! Mother is getting healthier!”  “Mother?” asked Steed. “Mother?” asked Tara. “Mother?” asked Miss Peel. “Mother?” asked Dr Keel. “Mother?” asked Dr King. “Yes, me!” said Mother, coming in.

A couple of weeks later, they had a four-in-one wedding. Steed married Miss Peel, Dr Keel married Tara, Dr King married Venus, and Mother married Cathy.

The end

Thank you for reading this story!