Knight Time

Knight Time is the third chapter in the Wombles Two.

Venus was riding Steed to Buckingham Palace. “Make way for the King!” she kept singing. Steed just neighed. Emma was angry about Steed’s arrest. She knew it was just cider and that Mother had poured it into Cathy himself.

Cathy suddenly got her memory back again. She walked off to Wimbledon Common and fell down a hole. She landed next to Peter Peel. She threw him on the floor. Ronda came up behind her and threw her on the floor. Dr Keel came up behind her and threw her on the floor. Cathy’s was the best throw, Ronda’s wasn’t that good as she wasn’t a trained agent, and Dr Keel’s was rubbish as he had been smoking a lot recently. But they all managed. They each got up and Peter Peel said, “Where is Steed?”  The others all replied, “I don’t know.”  Peter didn’t believe them and said, “Bring him to me! I must kill him!”  “I’m helping him!” piped up Ronda. “Well, he is a villain after all, so I guess I’ll help.” Said Cathy. “I hate Steed, he makes Tara forget about me sometimes, I’ll help for sure!” said Dr Keel. And they all set off hunting for him. Peter took a forget-me-dart as a weapon, Cathy took a gun as a weapon, Ronda took a dentist tool as a weapon, and Dr Keel took a cigarette lighter as a weapon.

The Womblelation was in full swing despite Steed’s unfair arrest and the kidnapping of Bulgaria and Miss Adelaide. Only Emma really worried about Steed. She headed out to find him. He wasn’t back home or at HQ. There was only one place left to look. “What if he is finally getting his knighthood?” she thought. So she headed to Buckingham Palace. Cathy, Dr Keel and Peter Peel all hated Steed so naturally they didn’t think to look for him at the palace at all.

Venus was getting her memory back and wondered if, as she was female, Steed was the King. She suggested it. “Excuse me but are you the King?”  “Neigh!” said Steed who was also getting his memory back. “At least you said it this time.” Said Venus. “Said what?” said Steed. “Said neigh” said Venus “by the way are you the King?”. “Let’s find out” he replied as they rode in the palace. Steed clopped right up to the Queen as she was polishing her knighting sword. She didn’t see him but Emma did. As the Queen tapped Steed on both shoulders Emma said “I dub thee Sir John Steed for services to the Avengers and Wombles!”

“Oh!” said Her Majesty “One has knighted one!”  Suddenly Steed’s memory came back. “No!” he said. “No what?” said Venus. “No I am not the King. I am Sir John Steed!” he said. “And I” said Emma “am Lady Emma Steed!”  “Excuse me!” said Her Majesty “One has to be Lord to have a Lady!”. “Oh!” they replied. “And so I dub thee Lord Sir John Steed and you Lady Emma Steed!”.

“What about me?” asked Venus. “You can be the Royal Singer!” said Her Majesty. Just then Cathy burst in wearing an eye patch with Dr Keel (wearing a pirate hat), Ronda (dressed as Wonderwoman) and Peter (looking like a metal man). They grabbed the Queen. “Surrender Steed or the Queen gets it!” shouted Cathy. Steed and Emma tried to stop them but they opened a hatch and leapt through a hole with Her Majesty. “Oh!” said Steed, Emma and Venus. For once Venus didn’t sing about it although she should have being the Royal Singer.

Tara was only pretending to like the party because she didn’t really like them. Finally she had enough and headed back to the club. “Funny” she thought “where is David, why is Venus not here singing?”  Martin answered her thoughts without intending to. “Tara ran out because she really loves Steed, Venus went somewhere odd like usual.”  “Do you love Venus?” asked Tara. “Not really” replied Dr King. “Do you love David?” he asked in return. “Well no!” said Tara. “However you are very handsome, clever and don’t smoke!”  Martin understood. “Can I ask you something crazy?”  Tara replied “I love crazy!”  “Do you want to be Tara King again?” he asked. “Well yes!” she said and kissed him.

Venus headed back into the club. “Martin, I’m too good for you now! I am the Royal Singer!”  She expected him to be upset but he just smiled. “Quite right! I’ll marry Tara instead.”  “OK” said Venus “but you are already married.”  “Well” he replied “we could swap if you’ll take David?”

A balloon drifted slowly down to earth. Oslo Von Vomble guided it down. He got out with Shansi and Botany. There was a big hole with a burrow in it. They went in and explored. “Argh!” shouted Shansi. “Vhat is it?” asked Oslo. “A dead womble!” shouted Shansi. Oslo and Botany rushed to find Shansi and were shocked to see a cage with battered and bruised womble in rags. There was a whip next to the cage with Alderney written on it. “Alderney?” said a shocked Shansi.

Venus was upset. “No we will not swap!”  And she kicked Tara. She kicked her back. Cathy came in and kicked both of them. “Where is Mrs Steed?” she said. “If we are going to get Steed, we must get her as well!”  Peter kicked her. “Don’t call her Mrs Steed!”  “Alright, Emma then.” Said Cathy, and rephrased her question, “Where is Emma?” “We don’t know!” said Venus in between tears. Cathy threw her on the floor and she cried even more. “Tell the truth!”  “But I am telling the truth!”  “Fine we will take you away for interrogation.”  And they did.

Steed and Mrs Steed went home, only to find that their windows were really dirty. They dialed the number that they thought was the window cleaners’ but instead they got Cathy snapping, “Who is it? What do you want? Why are you calling the Cafeeee? I’m very busy right now.”  Steed was surprised. “Isn’t this the Classy Glass Window Cleaning Company?”  “Well obviously not I threw them all out remember? Now go away right after you tell me who you are.”  “Er, Cathy, you should know who I am.”  “Is that you Steed?”  “Yes.”  “Where are you?”  “At home, why?”  “I’m coming for you!”  Steed put down the phone confused. “What did they say?” asked Mrs Steed. “It was Cathy, and she said she’s coming for me.”  “What does she mean?”  “I’m not sure.”

Later, there was a knock at the door. Mrs Steed answered it. It was Cathy. “What do you want?” asked Mrs Steed. “I want Steed.” Replied Cathy. “If you’re telling me that you love Steed too, you’re not having him.”  “Don’t be ridiculous! Who would fall in love with the person that poisoned them?”  “What? He did that?” “Yes. He did that.”  “But… but why?”  “He had no other reason than because he is a criminal.”  “What? But… but…” Mrs Steed fainted. Cathy shook her and she woke up again. “I know he’s your husband, but he shouldn’t be.” She said. Mrs Steed slowly nodded, then walked back up to Steed. “Sorry,” she said, then took his bowler and hit him on the head with it. It knocked him out. Then she turned to Cathy and said, “Three things. One, why are you wearing an eyepatch? Two, I still love him and nothing’s going to change that. Three, I’m keeping his hat.”  “Fine by me.” Said Cathy. “I hate bowlers. And I’m wearing an eyepatch because I’m being the leader of a pirate gang. Don’t worry, a good one. Not an evil one.”  Of course, that was just what she thought. Not what was true.

Steed woke up in a glass box with no way out. He could see Cathy, Peter, Ronda, Dr Keel and Mrs Steed standing outside. Most of them had victorious looks on their faces, but Mrs Steed looked upset. “I guess this means I’m not going to be Mrs Steed anymore.” She said sighing. “What?” asked Steed. She didn’t reply. Peter came up to her. “Forget about that criminal.” He said. “Why not be Mrs Peel again?”  Mrs Steed stayed silent for a moment, then slowly nodded. “I suppose so.”  “What? No!” said Steed. “Emma don’t!”  But she just ignored him, and went off with Peter.

As they reached the next room Peter fell down unconscious. A shadow flitted away. Mrs Peel was confused. She followed the shadow. It went into old storage room. Emma walked in and saw Tara. Tara put her finger to her lips. “Sh be quiet now. We are all in danger. Cathy is taking over the Avengers.”  Emma was shocked but not surprised. “I knew something was wrong! What can we do?”  “First rescue Steed! Remember you are MRS STEED!”  “Yes I am!” replied Emma. “Second rescue One Ten!”  “Oh! I forgot about him! He was in charge when Mother was just a fat man in glasses!”.

They both changed into black outfits, armed themselves (the old storage room held guns and ammo) then moved like shadows (Tara did that earlier). Steed was only guarded by Dr Keel and he was smoking. Tara knocked him out. Emma fired a round from her pistol that shattered Steed’s prison. “Emma? You’re Mrs Steed again?”  “Yes” she replied “Can you forgive me?”  “Ok” said Steed and quickly imprisoned Dr Keel in the glass box but with concreted feet and hands. They all left like shadows via the roof.

Peter woke up. He immediately saw Ronda looking over him. “What happened?” she asked. “I’m not sure.” Replied Peter. “But where is Emma?”  “She left with Steed.”  “Grr… not again!”  “It’s not that bad you know. Maybe you’ll find someone else that you like better and then marry them instead.” Peter got angry and punched her. “Never! You are mad! That Steed man must be dealt with!”  “But…” said Ronda. “But nothing! If you do not go and get him, you will be stuffed as well!”  Ronda went off in tears.

Steed, Mrs Steed and Tara arrived back at the burrow. Mrs Steed went into MESO and spoke through the important announcement speaker. Steed went into the womblegarten and taught the womblets. Tara went into the kitchen and was about to cook, when she remembered the incident with Dr King. “Maybe,” she thought. “If I could get Venus out of the way…”