DIE

DIE is the twenty second chapter in the Wombles Eight.

In Star City Steed had just finished on the plans for starting DIE when his mobile started singing Kinky Boots. “Cathy my dearest! I was just thinking about you!” he answered in a gushing voice. Thomas, Lucy and Johnny all made faces at Steed. They weren’t fooled for a second. Neither was Cathy. “Really?” she replied sarcastically. “Did you even notice that I hadn’t called you for over 10 hours?”

“I was getting a bit worried” said Steed. “Liar! You probably just thought Cathy’s indestructible it’s fine” replied Cathy. “Well OK I wasn’t worried but I found Thomas and Lucy” said Steed recovering a bit. “I was just thinking about how worried I was about them. Thank goodness you found them safe! They are safe?” replied Cathy realising that she couldn’t really criticise Steed now. Especially after they had been sent to hell for forgetting their children in the past.

“Safe! Of course they are! Johnny and I have finished the plans for DIE. Once production starts we’ll have a lot more than £1000!”  Steed replied sounding especially pleased. “Oh and the children want to tell you something.” Steed added. “Mummy! Lucy and I have got majority shares in Steed Industries! Daddy said that he’s looking after them for us until we’re 18.” Thomas said excitedly. “We’re rich as well as royal now Mummy!” added Lucy. “Love you Mummy!” they said together.

“I love you too darlings! Can I talk to Daddy again?” asked Cathy. The phone went back to Steed. “Johnny had to go and get the workers started on the new DIE factory but asked me to say I just dig your style cuurrvy Cathy!” Steed said feeling a bit silly. “Oh well that’s nice. Would you like me to take you and the children home?” asked Cathy. “Would you? That would be splendid!” replied Steed. Cathy appeared in the room in seconds then ran them back to Grand Steed manor.

Thomas and Lucy were tired so Steed tucked them up in bed and read them a story. He joined Cathy, Gambit and Charlie in the private lounge. “We’ve been working on the case for you but nothing so far” Gambit said. “Case?” replied Steed “The plot to take over the multiverse?”  “No” replied Charlie “The case of the missing key.” “And what did you find?” asked Cathy. “Nothing definite yet” replied Gambit. “And you don’t think that the multiverse, the UK collapsing into a lawlessness or my new range of drinks is more important?” asked Steed. “Drinks? Well that does sound important” said Gambit. “What are they going to be?” asked Charlie.

“Steed’s Ye Olde Gooseberry Cider, Gooseberry Fire Brandy, Burning Hot Acorn Vodka, Lager than Life, Ale and Hearty, Sweetheart Strawberry Champagne, Ridiculous Rum, Death by Alcohol, Lethal Liqueur, Gin Rummy, Audrey’s Pale Ale, Harry Hook’s Finest Dark Rum, Thomas and Lucy’s Barrel of Fun and not forgetting McSteed’s Single Malt Scotch Whisky!”

“A fine selection Steed!” said Gambit “Have you got any samples?”  At that moment Harry and Audrey came in. “We have me fine shipmates!” shouted Harry handing Gambit a bottle of Finest Dark Rum. Audrey was pushing a trolley of her own Pale Ale. “Looks like a party!” said Cathy and grabbed an ale. David took an ale and clicked bottles with Cathy. Steed turned on some music.

Just as they all started to dance the phone rang. “Grand Steed Manor” answered Steed. “The answer is yes” came the deep voice on phone. “Yes? Oh it’s Mr Toretto!” replied Steed. “Ride or die. I’m in. For a price” replied the deep voice. “Which is?” asked steed. “The streets of London” came the reply. “The streets of London? The greatest street racing team of all time with the DIE range emblazoned on their cars racing all over the city?” said Steed. “That’s the deal and a deal is a deal Steed” replied Dom. “Deal!” said Steed and it was done.

Secretly unbeknown to anybody a sinister figure was watching. Watching the Justice League of America, the King and Queen, Dom and all the street racers, the Avengers, Teresa Lisbon, John Constantine, the A team, the wombles and Katy Perry. Most especially the wombles and Katy Perry.