Black Is Back, I Want My Meowy Back

Black Is Back, I Want My Meowy Back is the thirteenth chapter in the Wombles Five.

Meowykins was wondering where everyone had gone. She was at Steed Crater looking for them. Suddenly she came across a rather worried looking Meowythings. “What’s the matter?” she asked. “He’s returned!” replied Meowythings. “Who?”  “Meowyblack. He took away my ability to meow things!” “Well no-one else can help…”  “We need to hire”  “Meowywhite! Who’s heart is as white as snow!”

Lara knocked Murdock out and put him in a cell. Murdock woke up. “Where am I? Is it haunted?” he said. Then he started to sing. “Is the cell I’m locked in very haunted? Is it Bigfoot and I am his prey? Is the cell I’m locked in very haunted? Is it Bigfoot and I am his prey? Sing with Bigfoot! Sing with Bigfoot! Sing with Bigfoot he’s a zombie ghost!”

“You fool!” shouted a voice from another cell. “Bigfoot?” asked Murdock. “It’s me B A!” answered B A. “B A!” shouted Hannibal. “Hannibal!” shouted Face. “The A Team!” shouted Decker. “Decker!” shouted Bond. “Bond!” shouted all the others. “Be quiet!” shouted Lara. Now a loud crying started. “The ghosts!” shouted Murdock. “You crazy fool! It’s just these here itty bitty babies in here with me!” shouted B A. “Stop shouting!” shouted Lara. “You know I have a problem with itty bitty babies being locked in cells!” said Face. “Who can solve it?” asked Hannibal. “Nobody” replied Murdock. “You just hired yourselves!” shouted B A. “Hired who?” asked Lara. “The A Team!” shouted the A Team bursting out of their cells. Decker and Bond did the same.

B A knocked out Lara. Hannibal asked “Does anyone know how to drive a sub?”. “I can drive any of the sandwiches but the sub was always my fear” replied Murdock. “I can. Used to be in the Navy you know” said Commander Bond. He took charge of the sub and everyone except for B A and Murdock became the crew. B A was too busy changing, feeding and rocking the babies. Murdock was too busy ghost hunting. Lara wasn’t busy at all. She was unconscious, chained to the wall in a cell.

After some time Commander Bond took the sub up to the surface. Decker and Hannibal looked out through the periscope. They were in London Docks. As Hannibal lead the way to the ladder there was a clunk and they started going up. “Have you ever seen a submarine fly!” sang Murdock looking through the periscope. Bond looked as well. “Good god! We are flying! But how?” he exclaimed.

B A fainted and Face took over looking after the babies. Up above them a huge airship with V on the side was pulling them up and across to parliament. Inside the evil Baron Von Vomble was issuing commands. “Evil Vomble 1 zip wire down and get anyvody from SCAR.”  “Ja!” said EV1 and leapt out of the airship. “Evil Vomble 2 kill ze anyvody else!”  “Ja!” said EV2 and followed EV1.

Mrs Peel had gone shopping for a new wig. Since she couldn’t find anything better, she bought a short curly black one. The person selling it asked if she’d like to commit a fraud. “What?” she said, very confused. “Oh, nothing.” Replied the person selling the wig.

As Mrs Peel walked out, she saw a cat. “Who are you?” she asked. The cat laughed evilly. “I’m Meowyblack!” they said in a deep evil voice. Then they laughed again. “Shut up!” said Mrs Peel. Meowyblack shot something at her. She passed out.

Mrs Peel woke up in a very black place. There was another cat there. “Who are you?” asked Mrs Peel. “Meowy?what!is?going!on?” replied the cat. “I don’t know, what is going on?” asked Mrs Peel. “I didn’t mean that.” Replied the cat. “It’s just my name, but you always have to say it as if you’re really asking what’s going on. Otherwise it doesn’t count as my name.” “Are you evil?” asked Mrs Peel. “No.” replied Meowy?what!is?going!on?. “But I was captured by Meowyblack, who is.”

Another cat came in. “Are you evil?” asked Mrs Peel. “My heart is as white as snow.” Replied the cat. “Oh, well, what’s your name then?” asked Mrs Peel. “Meowywhite.” Answered the cat. “We need to stop Meowyblack, an evil cat who has returned. He’s already taken Meowythings’ ability to meow things!” “What’s so bad about that?” asked Mrs Peel. “Well, just that it’s mean, really.” Said Meowywhite. “But I’m sure Meowyblack is prepared to do much worse.”

Steed had been eating at Eat At Joe’s when he suddenly realized that they’d lost Thomas & Lucy again. He went out & started to look for them. Then he saw Cathy & an older woman walking quite quickly. He tried to tell them about Thomas & Lucy but they didn’t seem to notice him.

Cathy & Katrina stopped outside Gambit’s Movie House. This was because they’d heard Purdey was there. They thought she could help stop Lara. And she should probably know about what Katrina had said.

Cathy knocked on the door. Purdey answered, still holding on roughly to Gambit. “What have you been doing?” asked Cathy in shock. “That’s what I’m trying to find out!” replied Purdey. “Mike Gambit!” said a mysterious voice. “And I’m trying to not explain & find that madman!” said Gambit. “Keep your mouth shut, Mike Gambit!” said Purdey. “Mike Gambit!” repeated the mysterious voice. “Exactly!” said Purdey. “Well…” said Cathy. “Purdey, we kind of need your help, I think. We’ve also got some stuff to tell you.” “Come in & go ahead!” said Purdey. Gambit tried to break free. “Mike Gambit!” said Purdey & the voice. “You are being extremely annoying!”

“So,” said Cathy. “First of all, this is apparently your mother Katrina Purdey & also my mother, which means we’re sisters. Also-Tara’s Canadian twin sister Miss Lara King recently arrived in London from Toronto. It’s said that she’s causing havoc, and we thought you might be able to help. “Mike Gambit!” repeated the voice.

Steed was wondering why Cathy had ignored him. He decided to look for Thomas and Lucy by himself. Suddenly he came across a submarine hooked to an airship flying above parliament. He twisted the handle of his umbrella making it bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger until it knocked the hook on the submarine.

The submarine was freed but crashed rapidly down to the ground. “How many times are we going to crash?” said Face. “Nine zillion nine trillion nine billion nine million nine thousand and ninety nine.” Replied Murdock.

Suddenly Steed saw Thomas and Lucy. He quickly checked to see if they were breathing. They were, but hardly. Steed took them to the hospital feeling guilty. Then he went home.

Later there was a knock on the door. “Come in” said Steed. Cathy came in, followed by Katrina, followed by Purdey, who was dragging an unconscious Gambit. “What are you all doing here?” said Steed. “Well I’m here because I live here.” Replied Cathy. “Apart from you!”  “I’m Cathy’s mother.” Said Katrina. “And apparently I’m Cathy’s sister.” Said Purdey. “And Gambit’s here because he still hasn’t explained.”

Suddenly Gambit woke up. “Where am I?” he said. “At Grand Steed Manor.” Replied Purdey. “And I demand an explanation!”  “Or what? You’ll kill me?”  “Maybe.” “What? You wouldn’t.”  “I would!” Suddenly they realised that everyone else had gone. “I suppose this is the only way I’ll get him to explain.”  Said Purdey, and went to the shed then quickly came back with the dagger that Steed had previously killed Venus with. “Er…Purdey…” said Gambit.

Purdey ignored him and put on the meanest face she could. “Any last requests?” she said. “Will you marry me?” replied Gambit. Purdey paused. “Not unless you give me a good enough explanation!” she said. Gambit was surprised. If I explain she’ll marry me? He thought. He opened his mouth to speak.